Week 1
Did you win last week?
Congrats on being a selfish douchebag who decided not to join in on the misery that is sports.
Especially in Michigan.
Michigan State predictably lost against one of the favorite teams to make the inaugural College Football Playoffs, but did it trying to match point for point instead of playing Spartan Football. It was a blowout after the first half.
Tigers suck.
But hey! Monday happened and Justin Verlander didn't suck hardcore like his leaked videos of him and random floozies. He just sucked.... softcore like Kate Upton pics and only gave up four runs this time and we took the first game of a very important series against the Kansas City Royals.
Speaking of suck and the Royals...
Michigan Football royally suck.
Michigan has never been shut out since 1984.
I think only two members of this league are old enough to have been alive in 1984.
365 game streak of no shut outs came to a screeching halt as Hoke continues to be a fat #@%^ figurehead who doesn't wear a damn headset on the sideline. Deveon Smith has outshined fat and still fat Derrick Green since they both got on campus and we keep ramming him up the middle with no success. Bunch of idiots.
I will only continue to watch to witness Jabrill Peppers' amazing talent.
THREE HUNDRED SIXTY FIVE GAME STREAK ENDS.
What an ironic number, cause this is going to be a year of SUCK if both college football teams don't do anything and if the Tigers don't make the playoffs.
Luckily that week is over. Monday happened and the Lions looked great. Sure, it was against the crappiest Giants team New York has even had but man Stafford looks great.
Shed a bunch of pounds and tiptoeing around pass rushers.
Go Lions!
... I hate sports.
ANYWAYS
What a week of... wtf.
Top QB Week 1 - Matt Ryan. 448 yds 3TD 31.4 fantasy points ($14 in draft)
Notable - Drew Brees 333 yds 1TD 1 int 15.5 fantasy points ($42)
Notable - Aaron Rodgers 189 yds 1TD 1 int [b]9.6[/] fantasy points ($50)
Top RB Week 1 - Le'Veon Bell 109 RuYds 1RuTD 88 RecYds 25.7 fantasy points ($47)
Notable - Doug Martin 9 RuYds 7 RecYds 1.6 fantasy points ($48)
Notable - Jamaal Charles 19 RuYds 15 RecYds 3.1 fantasy points ($79)
Top WR Week 1 - Calvin 164 yds 2TD 28.4 fantasy points ($68)
Notable - Allen Hurns 110 yds 2TD 23 fantasy points (undrafted)
Notable - Dez Bryant 55 yds 5.5 fantasy points ($55)
Notable - Demaryius Thomas 48 yds 4.8 fantasy points ($57)
Top TE Week 1 - Julius Thomas 104 yds 3TD 28.4 fantasy points ($37)
Notable - Vernon Davis 44 yds 2TD 16.4 fantasy points ($17)
So other than the Tight End position everything was nonsense.
Years of fantasy football tells me that this is an anomaly.
This won't happen consistently and stars will be stars.
But, if you want to freak out and fire sale your team, more power to you.
=======================================================================================
Quick Hits
(In order of PF)
I miss JC So much
How the hell did Chris Ivory get 16.2 points? One long run for a TD and a short reception for a score.
I wanna take the gamble and say he only matches this output once more this season.
Double TE flex worked out this week and Carlos Hyde looks like he'll take over Gore's main role as he looked fantastic vs the Cowboys.
Ride and Die with Dalton and shit RBs?
Merp.
Joon's Football Squad
Way to smash the commish's face in.
Matty Ice looks like he's in for one HELL of a rebound year assuming that his receivers are healthy.
LeSean was straight up neglected due to Nick Foles' turnovers early in the game.
Tavon Austin is a pretty weak flex and Andrew Hawkins surprised me given that without Josh Gordon, I thought teams would shut him down easy. Jury's still out on him.
Team looks strong, but still only has one dependable back as Murray is a ticking time bomb.
Regardless, Strong.
WTF
Holy Crap Julius.
Way to cover for the donut that Boykin put up. But... Boykin?
Still, 122.1 points from 9 slots is insane. Ingram got a couple TDs to make up for Jamaal Charles... that sentence should be reversed for the rest of the season.
I mentioned something about Jeff's core strength. Jeff has a massively ripped 3-pack core. Everyone else, meh. But if you turn to the side, chicks can only see 3 even if you have 6 so who cares.
Excrement Ice Cream
CURSE JULIUS THOMAS!
Without that asshole, this team wins.
Andrew Luck acquisition was great and it paid off with 26.7 points!
Adrian Peterson.... might be the biggest loser with Norv Turner heading the Minnesota offense.
Looks like he views AD as a sledge hammer and Cordarelle as a Ferrari.
Even so, AD is one of those backs that rocket through a HB Dive play and scores a 90 yard touchdown. He should be fine regardless of scheme.
Larry Fitz sucked and I hope you learned your lesson that the Dallas Offense is nothing to fear.
C'mon Chris, that's like not starting Cueto vs the Texas Rangers. In your mind you think, omg... Romo, Dez Bryant, DeMarco Murray. In reality... 2014 Texas Rangers.
My HATE FOR ROMO IS BASED ON HIS REAL LIFE SUCK.
DeMarco's Pizzeria
... This Pizzeria doesn't even have.... what... he's advertising...
Anyways... WALTER WON!
Tate got hurt but Norv Turner used Cordarelle like a RB so they can swap numbers.
One correction from the post-draft LM Note I forgot to make is that I forgot David Wilson quit (like a b) football to train for the olympics. Hence the 15.6 points from Rashad being very useful. I don't think even Eli Manning trusts Eli Manning in the red zone. Big Booty Rashad can get some TEE DEES.
Ray Rice gotta be dropped so that kinda hurts but look at the players he kanged!
Lamar Miller 11.8 and DeAndre Hopkins 14.9!
Wowza!
SCOOP YOU
Hahahaha Danny finally has a decent week and he runs into paul with the top score.
Carson Palmer with 21.1!? Wow.
Ridley sucks, that's gonna have to be addressed but another massive point total from the bench.
Kanged a 19.4 point performance by Knowshon! I don't know how to take the Sproles total but those Miami backs had a great day.
This team looks deep.
Atlanta Lions
Speaking of bench. Yikes...
but then who cares when you win?
In the battle of autodrafts, he left Le'Veon on the bench with his 25.7 points but the Texan D went nuts.
Now they did lose Clowney :( and played against Washington for that 20 points but there's no way these backs suck all year. However, I'd have to note that, he did have a chance at trading away... a combination of his players who collectively scored 16.4 points for players who combined for 54.1 points before the weekend that with proper lineup adjustment would have allowed him to score 145.8 points (assuming Le'Veon takes over for the RB).
I'm pretty sure that deal is now completely off the table.
Still, given the imbalance of the league, I'm sure he'll find a deal to balance out his team. Not every team is going to start a 9.6 point QB over a 30 pointer... given that all other teams only have like... 2 QBs at most.
Not Creative
Okay, I believe in real life NFL players being allergic to fantasy teams. I swear to God if you ruin Tom Brady I will murder you.
...
Anyways, Lacy sucked, then got concussed. Luckily they only play Seattle once. So, good news! 4.5 is Lacy's floor.
I have nothing to say about the rest of the team or the bench cause... what is there to point out?
Blegh.
Discount Double Check #ponyup
Wow, what an annoying name to type out.
Nothing special needed to be mentioned here.
There's a lot of teams that need help out QB.
Especially.... Atlanta Lions (Rivers), Miami Marlins (Romo), and I miss JC So much (Dalton).
I say, you pick which one you wanna trade (Rodgers v Stafford) then announce it and let them fight over it.
In the end this is a individual game. All three aren't gonna hold out on you and let your team suck and die while they're sucking and dying themselves. Unfortunately 2 of those teams won due to bad opponents (ahem, includes you).
Whatever, that's what happens with autodraft.
Work in progress.
12 Dollar ROY
Worst.
Draft.
Ever.
Foles is still the truth though.
RBs suck.
Welker come backkkkkkkkk :(
Oh and John Brown is the truth too.
Miami Marlins
Oh how the turntables...........
Returning champ....
Why did you start Dwyer....?
Romo.
Romo.
Romo.
Romo.
Romo.
P.S. Even in Madden 15, I use Joique over Reggie Bush.
Reggie Bush sucks...
like your week 1 team score.
Her with Joaquin Pheonix
More like... Gigli with Ben Affleck.
Didn't understand the choice in defense, but regardless of that, there was not much production from this team. I doubt that'll continue with Brees, and Bryant on this team. Counterpoint. His bench only had 9.9 points, so... can this team really get that much better?
HOPEFULLY.
Unless you, the winningest manager in Gridiron Brothel, is like the winningest program in College Football and decides to suck for a while.
=======================================================================================
Matchup of the Week:
WTF (1-0) v Joon's Football Squad (1-0)
Both had great individual performances last week.
Joon has Matty Ice and AJ Green @Cinci. Cinci who has a very good defense. LeSean should rebound and everything else may remain the same.
I think this matchup comes down to balance vs stars.
The KC defense gave up 20 points to Jake Locker.
Makes me want to say there's gonna be 50 points from Manning and Julius.
I say the freak touchdowns by the rest of Jeff's team (not from Jamaal v Den) allow Jeff to beat JFS.
127-93 WTF
(0-0 rec) first pick
APOW - I miss JC So much (1)
Turd - Her with Joaquin Phoenix (1)
Congrats on being a selfish douchebag who decided not to join in on the misery that is sports.
Especially in Michigan.
Michigan State predictably lost against one of the favorite teams to make the inaugural College Football Playoffs, but did it trying to match point for point instead of playing Spartan Football. It was a blowout after the first half.
Tigers suck.
But hey! Monday happened and Justin Verlander didn't suck hardcore like his leaked videos of him and random floozies. He just sucked.... softcore like Kate Upton pics and only gave up four runs this time and we took the first game of a very important series against the Kansas City Royals.
Speaking of suck and the Royals...
Michigan Football royally suck.
Michigan has never been shut out since 1984.
I think only two members of this league are old enough to have been alive in 1984.
365 game streak of no shut outs came to a screeching halt as Hoke continues to be a fat #@%^ figurehead who doesn't wear a damn headset on the sideline. Deveon Smith has outshined fat and still fat Derrick Green since they both got on campus and we keep ramming him up the middle with no success. Bunch of idiots.
I will only continue to watch to witness Jabrill Peppers' amazing talent.
THREE HUNDRED SIXTY FIVE GAME STREAK ENDS.
What an ironic number, cause this is going to be a year of SUCK if both college football teams don't do anything and if the Tigers don't make the playoffs.
Luckily that week is over. Monday happened and the Lions looked great. Sure, it was against the crappiest Giants team New York has even had but man Stafford looks great.
Shed a bunch of pounds and tiptoeing around pass rushers.
Go Lions!
... I hate sports.
ANYWAYS
What a week of... wtf.
Top QB Week 1 - Matt Ryan. 448 yds 3TD 31.4 fantasy points ($14 in draft)
Notable - Drew Brees 333 yds 1TD 1 int 15.5 fantasy points ($42)
Notable - Aaron Rodgers 189 yds 1TD 1 int [b]9.6[/] fantasy points ($50)
Top RB Week 1 - Le'Veon Bell 109 RuYds 1RuTD 88 RecYds 25.7 fantasy points ($47)
Notable - Doug Martin 9 RuYds 7 RecYds 1.6 fantasy points ($48)
Notable - Jamaal Charles 19 RuYds 15 RecYds 3.1 fantasy points ($79)
Top WR Week 1 - Calvin 164 yds 2TD 28.4 fantasy points ($68)
Notable - Allen Hurns 110 yds 2TD 23 fantasy points (undrafted)
Notable - Dez Bryant 55 yds 5.5 fantasy points ($55)
Notable - Demaryius Thomas 48 yds 4.8 fantasy points ($57)
Top TE Week 1 - Julius Thomas 104 yds 3TD 28.4 fantasy points ($37)
Notable - Vernon Davis 44 yds 2TD 16.4 fantasy points ($17)
So other than the Tight End position everything was nonsense.
Years of fantasy football tells me that this is an anomaly.
This won't happen consistently and stars will be stars.
But, if you want to freak out and fire sale your team, more power to you.
=======================================================================================
Quick Hits
(In order of PF)
I miss JC So much
How the hell did Chris Ivory get 16.2 points? One long run for a TD and a short reception for a score.
I wanna take the gamble and say he only matches this output once more this season.
Double TE flex worked out this week and Carlos Hyde looks like he'll take over Gore's main role as he looked fantastic vs the Cowboys.
Ride and Die with Dalton and shit RBs?
Merp.
Joon's Football Squad
Way to smash the commish's face in.
Matty Ice looks like he's in for one HELL of a rebound year assuming that his receivers are healthy.
LeSean was straight up neglected due to Nick Foles' turnovers early in the game.
Tavon Austin is a pretty weak flex and Andrew Hawkins surprised me given that without Josh Gordon, I thought teams would shut him down easy. Jury's still out on him.
Team looks strong, but still only has one dependable back as Murray is a ticking time bomb.
Regardless, Strong.
WTF
Holy Crap Julius.
Way to cover for the donut that Boykin put up. But... Boykin?
Still, 122.1 points from 9 slots is insane. Ingram got a couple TDs to make up for Jamaal Charles... that sentence should be reversed for the rest of the season.
I mentioned something about Jeff's core strength. Jeff has a massively ripped 3-pack core. Everyone else, meh. But if you turn to the side, chicks can only see 3 even if you have 6 so who cares.
Excrement Ice Cream
CURSE JULIUS THOMAS!
Without that asshole, this team wins.
Andrew Luck acquisition was great and it paid off with 26.7 points!
Adrian Peterson.... might be the biggest loser with Norv Turner heading the Minnesota offense.
Looks like he views AD as a sledge hammer and Cordarelle as a Ferrari.
Even so, AD is one of those backs that rocket through a HB Dive play and scores a 90 yard touchdown. He should be fine regardless of scheme.
Larry Fitz sucked and I hope you learned your lesson that the Dallas Offense is nothing to fear.
C'mon Chris, that's like not starting Cueto vs the Texas Rangers. In your mind you think, omg... Romo, Dez Bryant, DeMarco Murray. In reality... 2014 Texas Rangers.
My HATE FOR ROMO IS BASED ON HIS REAL LIFE SUCK.
DeMarco's Pizzeria
... This Pizzeria doesn't even have.... what... he's advertising...
Anyways... WALTER WON!
Tate got hurt but Norv Turner used Cordarelle like a RB so they can swap numbers.
One correction from the post-draft LM Note I forgot to make is that I forgot David Wilson quit (like a b) football to train for the olympics. Hence the 15.6 points from Rashad being very useful. I don't think even Eli Manning trusts Eli Manning in the red zone. Big Booty Rashad can get some TEE DEES.
Ray Rice gotta be dropped so that kinda hurts but look at the players he kanged!
Lamar Miller 11.8 and DeAndre Hopkins 14.9!
Wowza!
SCOOP YOU
Hahahaha Danny finally has a decent week and he runs into paul with the top score.
Carson Palmer with 21.1!? Wow.
Ridley sucks, that's gonna have to be addressed but another massive point total from the bench.
Kanged a 19.4 point performance by Knowshon! I don't know how to take the Sproles total but those Miami backs had a great day.
This team looks deep.
Atlanta Lions
Speaking of bench. Yikes...
but then who cares when you win?
In the battle of autodrafts, he left Le'Veon on the bench with his 25.7 points but the Texan D went nuts.
Now they did lose Clowney :( and played against Washington for that 20 points but there's no way these backs suck all year. However, I'd have to note that, he did have a chance at trading away... a combination of his players who collectively scored 16.4 points for players who combined for 54.1 points before the weekend that with proper lineup adjustment would have allowed him to score 145.8 points (assuming Le'Veon takes over for the RB).
I'm pretty sure that deal is now completely off the table.
Still, given the imbalance of the league, I'm sure he'll find a deal to balance out his team. Not every team is going to start a 9.6 point QB over a 30 pointer... given that all other teams only have like... 2 QBs at most.
Not Creative
Okay, I believe in real life NFL players being allergic to fantasy teams. I swear to God if you ruin Tom Brady I will murder you.
...
Anyways, Lacy sucked, then got concussed. Luckily they only play Seattle once. So, good news! 4.5 is Lacy's floor.
I have nothing to say about the rest of the team or the bench cause... what is there to point out?
Blegh.
Discount Double Check #ponyup
Wow, what an annoying name to type out.
Nothing special needed to be mentioned here.
There's a lot of teams that need help out QB.
Especially.... Atlanta Lions (Rivers), Miami Marlins (Romo), and I miss JC So much (Dalton).
I say, you pick which one you wanna trade (Rodgers v Stafford) then announce it and let them fight over it.
In the end this is a individual game. All three aren't gonna hold out on you and let your team suck and die while they're sucking and dying themselves. Unfortunately 2 of those teams won due to bad opponents (ahem, includes you).
Whatever, that's what happens with autodraft.
Work in progress.
12 Dollar ROY
Worst.
Draft.
Ever.
Foles is still the truth though.
RBs suck.
Welker come backkkkkkkkk :(
Oh and John Brown is the truth too.
Miami Marlins
Oh how the turntables...........
Returning champ....
Why did you start Dwyer....?
Romo.
Romo.
Romo.
Romo.
Romo.
P.S. Even in Madden 15, I use Joique over Reggie Bush.
Reggie Bush sucks...
like your week 1 team score.
Her with Joaquin Pheonix
More like... Gigli with Ben Affleck.
Didn't understand the choice in defense, but regardless of that, there was not much production from this team. I doubt that'll continue with Brees, and Bryant on this team. Counterpoint. His bench only had 9.9 points, so... can this team really get that much better?
HOPEFULLY.
Unless you, the winningest manager in Gridiron Brothel, is like the winningest program in College Football and decides to suck for a while.
=======================================================================================
Matchup of the Week:
WTF (1-0) v Joon's Football Squad (1-0)
Both had great individual performances last week.
Joon has Matty Ice and AJ Green @Cinci. Cinci who has a very good defense. LeSean should rebound and everything else may remain the same.
I think this matchup comes down to balance vs stars.
The KC defense gave up 20 points to Jake Locker.
Makes me want to say there's gonna be 50 points from Manning and Julius.
I say the freak touchdowns by the rest of Jeff's team (not from Jamaal v Den) allow Jeff to beat JFS.
127-93 WTF
(0-0 rec) first pick
APOW - I miss JC So much (1)
Turd - Her with Joaquin Phoenix (1)
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